1
00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:05,133
Boy, the way Glenn Miller played
2
00:00:05,133 --> 00:00:08,634
Songs that made the hit parade
3
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,734
Guys like us, we had it made
4
00:00:11,734 --> 00:00:14,734
Those were the days
5
00:00:14,734 --> 00:00:18,767
And you knew where you were then
6
00:00:18,767 --> 00:00:22,033
Girls were girls, and men were men
7
00:00:22,033 --> 00:00:26,968
Mister, we could use a man
like Herbert Hoover again
8
00:00:26,968 --> 00:00:30,501
Didn't need no welfare state
9
00:00:30,501 --> 00:00:33,968
Everybody pulled his weight
10
00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:38,567
Gee, our old LaSalle ran great
11
00:00:38,567 --> 00:00:44,400
Those were the days
12
00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:51,234
[MACHINES WHIRRING]
13
00:00:51,234 --> 00:00:54,634
So when you grow up and have a family
14
00:00:54,634 --> 00:00:58,334
you'll be coming to the laundromat, too.
15
00:00:58,334 --> 00:01:00,667
- Every week? - Oh, yeah.
16
00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:03,067
I'd rather be dirty.
17
00:01:03,067 --> 00:01:06,367
Oh, it ain't nice to be dirty.
18
00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:07,901
I don't mind.
19
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:13,200
Would you take this and get me
four quarters for the machine?
20
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,868
Okay.
21
00:01:14,868 --> 00:01:16,667
Allow me, Mrs. Bunker.
22
00:01:16,667 --> 00:01:19,400
Oh! Mr. Klemmer!
23
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:22,067
I saw you from the outside and I
had to come in and say hello.
24
00:01:22,067 --> 00:01:23,133
You shouldn't--
25
00:01:23,133 --> 00:01:25,100
- Hello, hello. - Well, hello.
26
00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:26,534
- Mwah, mwah. - How are you?
27
00:01:26,534 --> 00:01:29,667
[WITH A HEAVY ACCENT] Oh,
your hand smells nice.
28
00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:32,367
It's Ajax, the foamy cleanser.
29
00:01:32,367 --> 00:01:33,934
[GIGGLES] Oh, my.
30
00:01:33,934 --> 00:01:36,834
- It is so nice to see you. - Yeah.
31
00:01:36,834 --> 00:01:38,100
Oh, thank you.
32
00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:41,300
This is my little grandniece, Stephanie.
33
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:44,567
Oh, kiss the hand, Fraulein Stephanie.
34
00:01:44,567 --> 00:01:45,901
- [KISS] - [GIGGLES]
35
00:01:45,901 --> 00:01:47,367
You like that, huh?
36
00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:49,467
Yeah, your beard feels like a dog.
37
00:01:49,467 --> 00:01:51,033
[EDITH LAUGHS]
38
00:01:51,033 --> 00:01:55,434
Oh, see, this is Mr. Klemmer, Stephie.
39
00:01:55,434 --> 00:01:57,133
He's the butcher.
40
00:01:57,133 --> 00:02:00,634
Yes, and I'm very sorry your aunt
doesn't come to my shop anymore.
41
00:02:00,634 --> 00:02:02,968
We had a wonderful relationship.
42
00:02:08,934 --> 00:02:10,000
[EDITH CHUCKLES]
43
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,501
I hate liver.
44
00:02:11,501 --> 00:02:14,434
Oh, Mr. Klemmer.
45
00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:16,534
B-B-B-B-- Albrecht.
46
00:02:16,534 --> 00:02:19,434
Oh, yeah, Albrecht.
47
00:02:19,434 --> 00:02:22,300
That's much better, "Ee-dit."
48
00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:24,567
Hm? Edith.
49
00:02:24,567 --> 00:02:26,767
"Ee-dit"... th.
50
00:02:29,467 --> 00:02:32,667
[EDITH LAUGHS]
51
00:02:32,667 --> 00:02:35,367
My Uncle Archie hates liver, too.
52
00:02:35,367 --> 00:02:37,267
Let's sit down. Let's sit down.
53
00:02:37,267 --> 00:02:39,868
- Oh, Mr. Klemmer. - No, no, no, no.
54
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,067
Oh, yeah. I mean, Albrecht.
55
00:02:42,067 --> 00:02:44,968
You look wonderful.
56
00:02:44,968 --> 00:02:46,567
I know.
57
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:49,133
That's because I have wonderful news.
58
00:02:49,133 --> 00:02:51,934
I am going to get married.
59
00:02:51,934 --> 00:02:53,634
- Married? - Yeah.
60
00:02:53,634 --> 00:02:55,734
- You're gonna get-- - Yeah, ha ha ha.
61
00:02:55,734 --> 00:02:58,334
Ohh... oh, that's wonderful.
62
00:02:58,334 --> 00:02:59,968
Congratulations.
63
00:02:59,968 --> 00:03:01,167
Thank you. Thank you.
64
00:03:01,167 --> 00:03:02,667
- Well, what's her name? - Well--
65
00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:04,701
- Where did you meet 'er? - We met in--
66
00:03:04,701 --> 00:03:06,501
- When is it gonna be? - We haven't--
67
00:03:06,501 --> 00:03:07,968
Tell me all about it.
68
00:03:07,968 --> 00:03:10,267
Well, in the first place,
69
00:03:10,267 --> 00:03:13,234
it is because she reminds
me a lot about you.
70
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:15,567
Maybe that's why I fell in love with her.
71
00:03:15,567 --> 00:03:18,033
Oh, oh.
72
00:03:19,534 --> 00:03:22,634
My Uncle Archie says liver
gives him "dys-poop-sia."
73
00:03:22,634 --> 00:03:23,834
What?
74
00:03:23,834 --> 00:03:26,501
She don't remind you of me.
75
00:03:26,501 --> 00:03:30,667
She reminds you of your
wife, who passed away,
76
00:03:30,667 --> 00:03:34,267
because you always said
that I reminded you of her,
77
00:03:34,267 --> 00:03:37,033
so you don't mean that
she reminds you of me.
78
00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:39,534
You mean that she reminds you of your wife,
79
00:03:39,534 --> 00:03:41,067
who passed away,
80
00:03:41,067 --> 00:03:44,000
because I always reminded you of her,
81
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,701
so she don't remind you of me.
82
00:03:45,701 --> 00:03:48,667
She reminds you of her, not me.
83
00:03:48,667 --> 00:03:49,901
See?
84
00:03:52,501 --> 00:03:53,901
Yes.
85
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,501
And she looks a lot like you, t--
86
00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:58,133
Oh, and she has a name like yours,
87
00:03:58,133 --> 00:04:00,834
Judit-th.
88
00:04:00,834 --> 00:04:05,734
Oh, Mist-- Albrecht, I'm so happy for you.
89
00:04:05,734 --> 00:04:07,901
You have no idea.
90
00:04:07,901 --> 00:04:10,334
She is bright, intelligent.
91
00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:14,000
She loves music, she cooks
good, and she loves me.
92
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,601
What could be better?
93
00:04:15,601 --> 00:04:18,767
I would love for you to meet my liebchen.
94
00:04:18,767 --> 00:04:23,200
Oh, I'd love to. Why don't
you come to our house?
95
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,300
Tonight. For homemade cake and coffee.
96
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:29,968
And you can bring Miss Liebchen.
97
00:04:29,968 --> 00:04:32,634
That would be wonderful.
98
00:04:32,634 --> 00:04:34,601
Oh, but liebchen isn't her name.
99
00:04:34,601 --> 00:04:36,467
That means "loved one."
100
00:04:36,467 --> 00:04:40,767
Ohh, ain't that nice?
101
00:04:40,767 --> 00:04:42,100
Ha ha ha.
102
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:45,100
Oh! Maybe we could sit around the piano
103
00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:47,567
and sing like we did the last time.
104
00:04:47,567 --> 00:04:49,667
- Oh, yeah! -* When I'm calling *
105
00:04:49,667 --> 00:04:56,367
BOTH:* You *
106
00:04:56,367 --> 00:04:58,534
Will you answer
107
00:04:58,534 --> 00:05:02,467
BOTH:* Too *
108
00:05:11,267 --> 00:05:13,100
Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it.
109
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:15,601
Put that back here.
110
00:05:15,601 --> 00:05:17,133
Give me a break, will ya?
111
00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:18,367
Let me finish my dinner.
112
00:05:18,367 --> 00:05:20,968
Don't you see them two beans laying there?
113
00:05:23,033 --> 00:05:26,133
They're gonna be here any minute.
114
00:05:26,133 --> 00:05:28,501
Oh, God.
115
00:05:28,501 --> 00:05:30,300
My one night off in the week,
116
00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:32,434
and I gotta spend it with Klemmer,
117
00:05:32,434 --> 00:05:35,300
the Horny Hun.
118
00:05:36,968 --> 00:05:40,534
- Archie, please, be nice. - Oh, be nice.
119
00:05:40,534 --> 00:05:44,834
He's getting married and he's very proud.
120
00:05:44,834 --> 00:05:48,601
He wants to show us his liebchen.
121
00:05:48,601 --> 00:05:50,334
Let him show it to his girlfriend.
122
00:05:50,334 --> 00:05:54,000
I ain't interested in it.
123
00:05:55,567 --> 00:05:58,834
Liebchen is the girlfriend.
124
00:06:00,033 --> 00:06:03,667
Well, I ain't interested in hers, neither.
125
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,701
All right, you can take my dish now.
126
00:06:09,701 --> 00:06:11,701
What about the beans?
127
00:06:11,701 --> 00:06:14,234
I don't want them.
128
00:06:16,634 --> 00:06:19,100
Thank you.
129
00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:22,601
I don't know why you feel you
have to be nice to that guy.
130
00:06:22,601 --> 00:06:24,801
He ain't your butcher no more.
131
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:27,601
Oh, now that he's getting married,
132
00:06:27,601 --> 00:06:30,267
I can go back to his store.
133
00:06:30,267 --> 00:06:31,634
Mmmm.
134
00:06:31,634 --> 00:06:35,000
He don't care about me no more.
135
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:38,300
Oh, ho ho ho, jeez, that's what you think.
136
00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:40,634
You don't know nothing
about Germans, Edith.
137
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:43,467
You know, the Germans ain't never
satisfied with what they got.
138
00:06:43,467 --> 00:06:46,567
You look it up. It's a
well-known "historirical" fact.
139
00:06:46,567 --> 00:06:48,868
They gave 'em an inch of Czechoslovakia,
140
00:06:48,868 --> 00:06:51,234
and they took Poland.
141
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,834
Which proves the Germans ain't
none too smart, neither.
142
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:04,701
Archie, why don't you like company?
143
00:07:04,701 --> 00:07:07,167
I like company, Edith.
144
00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:09,667
I just don't want it to come over to visit.
145
00:07:12,734 --> 00:07:16,133
Well, they're coming tonight
so please, be nice,
146
00:07:16,133 --> 00:07:18,067
just this once.
147
00:07:18,067 --> 00:07:20,701
Don't keep telling me, "Be nice."
148
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:23,634
I want to tell you something.
149
00:07:23,634 --> 00:07:25,434
If I have to be nice,
150
00:07:25,434 --> 00:07:29,501
I can be very, very nice.
151
00:07:29,501 --> 00:07:31,234
[DOORBELL RINGS]
152
00:07:31,234 --> 00:07:37,534
Oh, damn, I'd like to wire that
doorbell to a wet doormat!
153
00:07:37,534 --> 00:07:39,300
[RINGING]
154
00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:42,901
Damn Germans. Always on time.
155
00:07:42,901 --> 00:07:47,100
They think they could be a little
late like the rest of the world.
156
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:51,000
You get the door, and I'll
get the coffee and the cake.
157
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,133
And remember... be nice.
158
00:07:54,133 --> 00:07:57,033
- [RINGING] - Oh, jeez.
159
00:07:57,033 --> 00:07:58,901
[MUMBLES]
160
00:07:58,901 --> 00:08:00,834
[SINGS UNINTELLIGIBLY]
161
00:08:02,534 --> 00:08:04,367
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
162
00:08:05,667 --> 00:08:08,567
Wow, if it ain't my old
pal Al Klemmer there!
163
00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:10,334
How are you there, Al?
164
00:08:10,334 --> 00:08:11,634
Good evening, Mr. Bunker.
165
00:08:11,634 --> 00:08:12,701
[TAPS HEELS]
166
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:16,667
At--at ease there, Chancellor.
167
00:08:16,667 --> 00:08:18,534
Well, long time no see.
168
00:08:18,534 --> 00:08:21,234
In other words, auf, uh, my wiedersehen.
169
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:24,434
Hey, auf yours, too.
170
00:08:24,434 --> 00:08:26,434
Well, don't stand on the porch, Al.
171
00:08:26,434 --> 00:08:28,767
As long as you're here, you
might as well come on in, huh?
172
00:08:28,767 --> 00:08:29,934
You, too.
173
00:08:29,934 --> 00:08:30,934
There.
174
00:08:30,934 --> 00:08:32,767
Just step right in there.
175
00:08:32,767 --> 00:08:36,634
And put your hats and coats
on the available hooks here.
176
00:08:36,634 --> 00:08:40,634
This is my fianc?e Judith Klammerstadt.
177
00:08:40,634 --> 00:08:41,634
Ahh.
178
00:08:41,634 --> 00:08:42,868
How do you do?
179
00:08:42,868 --> 00:08:45,434
How you doing, Miss-- What was that again?
180
00:08:45,434 --> 00:08:47,601
[WITH A FOREIGN ACCENT] Klammerstadt.
181
00:08:47,601 --> 00:08:49,667
Got it. [LAUGHS]
182
00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:53,200
I've heard a lot about you, Mr. Bunker.
183
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,667
Uh, well, you know, friends will talk.
184
00:08:55,667 --> 00:09:00,234
But, listen, I ain't half
as nice as people say I am.
185
00:09:00,234 --> 00:09:02,033
Yeah, well, come on in, come on in,
186
00:09:02,033 --> 00:09:04,167
and just, uh, make yourselves at home.
187
00:09:04,167 --> 00:09:06,167
Sit down anywheres you want.
188
00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:08,834
Oh, yeah, except for this here chair there,
189
00:09:08,834 --> 00:09:10,300
Miss--what d'you call?
190
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:14,200
Uh, because this chair is
in a hell of a cross draft.
191
00:09:15,501 --> 00:09:17,667
Cross draft?
192
00:09:17,667 --> 00:09:19,200
Why don't you move it?
193
00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:22,133
You want to look at a hole in the rug?
194
00:09:22,133 --> 00:09:23,868
No.
195
00:09:23,868 --> 00:09:25,601
All right, then do what I tell you.
196
00:09:25,601 --> 00:09:27,734
Uh, pop yourself on the davenport.
197
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:30,934
It's just as comfortable.
Yeah, yeah, sit down.
198
00:09:32,767 --> 00:09:38,667
Uh, say, Edith out there, I
heard they're here, ha ha.
199
00:09:38,667 --> 00:09:41,467
Edith's inside making coffee for yous.
200
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,968
Well, well, well, huh?
201
00:09:46,968 --> 00:09:49,267
[SNORTS] Vell, vell, vell.
202
00:09:50,467 --> 00:09:52,434
[EXHALES LOUDLY]
203
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:05,067
Do you think Martin Bormann
is still down in Brazil?
204
00:10:07,033 --> 00:10:09,734
[PUFFS] All I know is he never walked
205
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,901
into my butcher shop in Queens.
206
00:10:15,267 --> 00:10:17,901
Well, then, I guess he's
still down in Brazil.
207
00:10:20,767 --> 00:10:23,767
Uh, hurry on out, there, Edith, will you?
208
00:10:23,767 --> 00:10:27,534
I'm running out of nice things to say.
209
00:10:27,534 --> 00:10:30,834
Here we are.
210
00:10:30,834 --> 00:10:32,501
Here! Let me help you.
211
00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:34,167
It's all right there, Al.
212
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:37,267
I mean, she's used to
carrying things alone.
213
00:10:38,367 --> 00:10:40,167
Thank you.
214
00:10:40,167 --> 00:10:44,033
My, don't we look nice this evening.
215
00:10:44,033 --> 00:10:45,100
Ohh.
216
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:47,234
[THEY GIGGLE]
217
00:10:47,234 --> 00:10:50,167
Ohh, thank you, Mr. Klemmer.
218
00:10:50,167 --> 00:10:53,801
- Oh, oh, oh. - Oh, Albrecht, ha ha.
219
00:10:53,801 --> 00:10:58,501
Edith, this is my fianc?e Judith.
220
00:10:58,501 --> 00:11:01,467
ARCHIE: Wait till you hear
the last name there, Edith.
221
00:11:01,467 --> 00:11:03,400
- Tell 'er, Al. - ALBRECHT: Klammerstadt.
222
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,434
Don't that give you a little chill?
223
00:11:06,434 --> 00:11:12,801
Ohh, it's so nice to meet you.
224
00:11:12,801 --> 00:11:14,801
Ohh, Miss--
225
00:11:14,801 --> 00:11:18,267
I got it. I got it. "Klammer-schtup."
226
00:11:18,267 --> 00:11:21,667
Klammerstadt. Thank you.
227
00:11:21,667 --> 00:11:24,734
It is very nice to meet you, too.
228
00:11:24,734 --> 00:11:27,901
Oh, well, congratulations.
229
00:11:27,901 --> 00:11:32,601
I'm sure you'll both be very happy.
230
00:11:32,601 --> 00:11:35,901
Ohh, look, Archie.
231
00:11:35,901 --> 00:11:39,167
- Ain't that beautiful? - ARCHIE: Wow.
232
00:11:39,167 --> 00:11:43,133
It is my engagement ring.
233
00:11:43,133 --> 00:11:45,234
Guess who gave it to her?
234
00:11:45,234 --> 00:11:46,467
Who?
235
00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:51,701
Edith, get with it, huh?
236
00:11:51,701 --> 00:11:55,067
Oh, you! [GIGGLES]
237
00:11:55,067 --> 00:11:58,367
Ah, whoop-dee-doo and achtung there, Al.
238
00:11:58,367 --> 00:12:02,834
Hey, how many cows did you have
to club to death to pay for that?
239
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,767
It's so romantic.
240
00:12:07,767 --> 00:12:10,667
I don't know what it is.
241
00:12:10,667 --> 00:12:14,200
There's something about Judith
that reminds me of you.
242
00:12:18,133 --> 00:12:19,367
Really?
243
00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:23,300
Hey, Al, I can't see nothing
but your rump roast.
244
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:25,667
Out of the way.
245
00:12:25,667 --> 00:12:29,501
Albrecht speaks often of you.
246
00:12:29,501 --> 00:12:33,634
- Ohh.
- Yes, because you are a special person.
247
00:12:33,634 --> 00:12:36,968
And watch this here because this is where
248
00:12:36,968 --> 00:12:38,701
he lose control of himself there,
249
00:12:38,701 --> 00:12:40,367
Miss "Klammer-dip."
250
00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:44,400
Oh, oh, but then, so are you, my liebchen.
251
00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:49,067
Well, Edith, how 'bout coffee, huh?
252
00:12:49,067 --> 00:12:51,767
Oh, yeah. I got it, and cake, too.
253
00:12:51,767 --> 00:12:53,367
Are you hungry?
254
00:12:53,367 --> 00:12:55,767
No. I'm just drowsy.
255
00:12:55,767 --> 00:13:00,501
I thought first we were
going to sing some songs.
256
00:13:00,501 --> 00:13:03,701
Well, why don't you drink some
coffee and eat a lot of cake then?
257
00:13:03,701 --> 00:13:06,300
Maybe you'll be too full to sing.
258
00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:09,033
Oh, no, we won't.
259
00:13:09,033 --> 00:13:10,834
[ALBRECHT AND EDITH LAUGH]
260
00:13:10,834 --> 00:13:14,868
Oh, would you like to sing
along with us, Judith?
261
00:13:14,868 --> 00:13:19,267
[HEAVY ACCENT] Uh, no. Thank you.
I am not a good zinger.
262
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:23,434
Well, to hell with the coffee then.
263
00:13:23,434 --> 00:13:27,400
Yous two just "zing," and
us two'll just "zit."
264
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:32,300
Come on, Albrecht.
265
00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:34,434
You pick the song.
266
00:13:34,434 --> 00:13:37,367
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
267
00:13:37,367 --> 00:13:40,634
Come along, Mr. Bunker. Come, sing with us.
268
00:13:40,634 --> 00:13:43,434
Uh, no, you're out of my league, Al.
269
00:13:43,434 --> 00:13:45,334
Oh, we're not that good.
270
00:13:45,334 --> 00:13:48,701
That's what I mean, Al.
271
00:13:48,701 --> 00:13:51,734
Well, what are you looking
for there, a march?
272
00:13:51,734 --> 00:13:54,067
Ooh, a love song.
273
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:57,601
Get a load of that, huh?
274
00:13:57,601 --> 00:14:01,434
They're looking for a love song
there, Miss "Klammer-chowder."
275
00:14:02,767 --> 00:14:05,100
Klammerstadt.
276
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:08,300
Hey, I'm getting closer, though, huh?
277
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,000
"Voop-dee-doo," as you say.
278
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,334
- Here, this is a good one.
- Oh, yeah, this is pretty.
279
00:14:15,334 --> 00:14:16,534
[PLAYS]
280
00:14:16,534 --> 00:14:20,000
BOTH:
I love you
281
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,400
I love you
282
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:29,000
Is all that I can say
283
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,601
I love you
284
00:14:31,601 --> 00:14:34,734
I love you
285
00:14:34,734 --> 00:14:37,334
The same old words
286
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:40,267
I'm saying in the same old way
287
00:14:40,267 --> 00:14:43,734
I love you
288
00:14:43,734 --> 00:14:45,834
I love you
289
00:14:45,834 --> 00:14:47,267
ARCHIE: Hey, Al.
290
00:14:47,267 --> 00:14:48,934
- [SINGING CONTINUES] - Hey, Al! Al!
291
00:14:48,934 --> 00:14:49,968
[WHISTLES]
292
00:14:52,634 --> 00:14:55,701
I think you just lost
half your audience here.
293
00:14:55,701 --> 00:14:57,300
Judith!
294
00:14:58,701 --> 00:15:00,367
Is something wrong?
295
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,667
Everything is wrong!
296
00:15:02,667 --> 00:15:04,734
I am in the way here.
297
00:15:04,734 --> 00:15:07,133
You don't love me! You love her!
298
00:15:07,133 --> 00:15:09,133
The wife of the fatso!
299
00:15:12,267 --> 00:15:14,067
I don't love her!
300
00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:16,734
No, he don't love me!
301
00:15:16,734 --> 00:15:18,267
He certainly loves your hands.
302
00:15:18,267 --> 00:15:21,968
He's always trying to
get them in his mouth.
303
00:15:21,968 --> 00:15:23,734
I don't love her!
304
00:15:23,734 --> 00:15:25,501
Yeah, Herr Bunker is right.
305
00:15:25,501 --> 00:15:28,133
You do that. [KISSING SOUNDS]
306
00:15:30,234 --> 00:15:35,601
You don't look at me the
way you look at her.
307
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:39,667
You don't sing love songs with me.
308
00:15:39,667 --> 00:15:41,434
You don't have a piano.
309
00:15:43,467 --> 00:15:48,133
Und you don't have a liebchen.
310
00:15:48,133 --> 00:15:49,968
Well, if he ain't got a liebchen,
311
00:15:49,968 --> 00:15:52,601
he ain't gonna make much of a husband.
312
00:15:54,267 --> 00:15:56,100
Here is your ring!
313
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:58,200
- No, no, no. - The wedding is off!
314
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,400
Judith, Judith, what are you doing?
315
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:01,934
[INDISTINCT]
316
00:16:01,934 --> 00:16:03,167
Let me out of here!
317
00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:05,601
[HUMMING A MILITARY MARCH]
318
00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:10,200
[INDISTINCT ARGUING]
319
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:19,000
The Battle of the Bulge.
320
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,234
Well, it's your fault.
321
00:16:20,234 --> 00:16:22,267
You're a sex pot, you know that?
322
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,601
No, I ain't.
323
00:16:34,601 --> 00:16:36,968
Am I?
324
00:16:43,734 --> 00:16:46,200
[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]
325
00:16:49,367 --> 00:16:50,834
But aba Judith--
326
00:16:50,834 --> 00:16:52,167
Don't "aba Judith" me.
327
00:16:52,167 --> 00:16:54,934
Call me a taxi!
328
00:16:54,934 --> 00:16:59,000
[CONTINUES SPEAKING IN GERMAN]
329
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,934
[PANTING]
330
00:17:03,667 --> 00:17:06,434
Lovers' quarrel.
331
00:17:06,434 --> 00:17:09,467
Look, we found your ring.
332
00:17:09,467 --> 00:17:11,100
[SOBBING]
333
00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:13,968
What am I going to do?
334
00:17:13,968 --> 00:17:16,267
She won't even listen to me.
335
00:17:16,267 --> 00:17:19,234
Please, Edith, maybe you can talk to her.
336
00:17:19,234 --> 00:17:21,901
Oh, no, no, no, no. I won't allow that.
337
00:17:21,901 --> 00:17:24,267
You stay out of this thing, Edith.
338
00:17:24,267 --> 00:17:28,767
In their Garden of Eden,
you're the crabgrass.
339
00:17:28,767 --> 00:17:32,734
But somebody has to talk to her!
340
00:17:32,734 --> 00:17:34,801
Well--
341
00:17:34,801 --> 00:17:37,300
Oh, hold it, hold it. Not me there!
342
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:39,000
Hey, come on. Don't look over here.
343
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,534
I ain't no Dear "Abbie."
344
00:17:41,534 --> 00:17:43,167
Please, Mr. Bunker.
345
00:17:43,167 --> 00:17:44,400
When she's in this mood,
346
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,000
a human being can't talk to her.
347
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,300
You talk to her.
348
00:17:51,767 --> 00:17:54,701
Listen, Al, there's an old saying,
349
00:17:54,701 --> 00:18:00,968
"Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns."
350
00:18:03,634 --> 00:18:06,601
Now, I ain't never knew what that meant,
351
00:18:06,601 --> 00:18:09,434
but I always deeply believed in it.
352
00:18:09,434 --> 00:18:11,734
But you're forgetting, Mr. Bunker,
353
00:18:11,734 --> 00:18:13,033
that an attractive man
354
00:18:13,033 --> 00:18:15,400
can always do more with a woman,
355
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:19,067
and there's no use denying
you are an attractive man.
356
00:18:37,501 --> 00:18:41,000
This comes as a big
surprise to me, Albrecht.
357
00:18:44,033 --> 00:18:48,968
You know, this is why Rome fell.
358
00:18:51,167 --> 00:18:53,534
[GROANS] Europeans.
359
00:18:53,534 --> 00:18:55,567
Yous go for any kind of flesh
360
00:18:55,567 --> 00:18:58,434
as long as it's a little warm.
361
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:03,400
Now, Al, if you want that woman back--
362
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,434
and, jeez, I took a good look at her
363
00:19:05,434 --> 00:19:09,033
and I don't know what you see in 'er--
364
00:19:09,033 --> 00:19:11,100
you'll march out there to the kitchen,
365
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:14,534
and I mean mad, and you'll
give 'er the old mach schnel,
366
00:19:14,534 --> 00:19:16,767
and I mean loud there,
367
00:19:16,767 --> 00:19:20,133
and you grab a hold of 'er, you know?
368
00:19:20,133 --> 00:19:23,334
The way they used to take
us prisoners, remember?
369
00:19:25,267 --> 00:19:27,934
And then the two of yous, you
get the hell out of here.
370
00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:33,667
Oh, Archie, that ain't no way to do it.
371
00:19:33,667 --> 00:19:36,000
Well, that's my best shot, Edith.
372
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,801
You come up with something better.
373
00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:40,767
ALBRECHT: Yes, please.
374
00:19:40,767 --> 00:19:43,100
Well, all right. I'll try.
375
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:45,100
Now, Edith, if you're gonna talk to 'er,
376
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,934
talk through the door, huh?
377
00:19:46,934 --> 00:19:48,334
I mean, don't go in there.
378
00:19:48,334 --> 00:19:49,501
That woman's liable to come at you
379
00:19:49,501 --> 00:19:51,367
like "Doberman's Pinscher."
380
00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:56,834
Yoo-hoo.
381
00:19:56,834 --> 00:19:59,501
Judy?
382
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,567
Can I come in?
383
00:20:09,567 --> 00:20:11,501
Are you comfy?
384
00:20:13,167 --> 00:20:16,234
We found your ring.
385
00:20:16,234 --> 00:20:17,901
You can keep it.
386
00:20:17,901 --> 00:20:23,601
I am not going to marry your
dummkopf fool makes cow eyes at you!
387
00:20:23,601 --> 00:20:24,834
Ohh...
388
00:20:24,834 --> 00:20:28,868
Albrecht don't love me, he loves you.
389
00:20:28,868 --> 00:20:32,367
I just remind 'im of his dead wife...
390
00:20:32,367 --> 00:20:34,868
who passed away.
391
00:20:34,868 --> 00:20:41,801
You know, Albrecht is a very unusual man.
392
00:20:41,801 --> 00:20:45,467
He's a sweet and loving person
393
00:20:45,467 --> 00:20:49,033
and he shows that to everybody he likes.
394
00:20:49,033 --> 00:20:51,701
Not just me, everybody.
395
00:20:51,701 --> 00:20:53,400
That's the way he is.
396
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:56,167
And ain't it wonderful that he can do that,
397
00:20:56,167 --> 00:21:00,200
show everybody that he likes them?
398
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,667
But you're the one he loves.
399
00:21:02,667 --> 00:21:04,767
I know that.
400
00:21:04,767 --> 00:21:08,534
And I know you love him, too.
401
00:21:09,868 --> 00:21:15,267
So, if you let him go,
you'll be th-the "dumbkoff,"
402
00:21:15,267 --> 00:21:17,300
whatever that is.
403
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:34,868
Have a piece of cake, it'll
make you feel better.
404
00:21:37,934 --> 00:21:39,601
ALBRECHT: Ooh, what happened?
405
00:21:39,601 --> 00:21:41,634
What did she say? Did she change 'er mind?
406
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,167
Well, I don't know.
407
00:21:43,167 --> 00:21:45,000
What do you mean you don't know?
408
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,834
Well, she's thinking.
409
00:21:46,834 --> 00:21:48,234
Thinking about what?
410
00:21:48,234 --> 00:21:49,901
Well, I don't know.
411
00:21:49,901 --> 00:21:51,667
What do you mean you don't know?!
412
00:21:51,667 --> 00:21:56,300
Whoa, whoa! Ho-hold it
down there, will ya, Al?
413
00:21:56,300 --> 00:22:01,467
Gee, this ain't Stalag IV.
414
00:22:01,467 --> 00:22:05,501
This is a businessman's
quiet home in Queens.
415
00:22:05,501 --> 00:22:08,300
Nobody ever hollers around here.
416
00:22:12,968 --> 00:22:16,100
Now, if Edith says she don't
know, she don't know.
417
00:22:16,100 --> 00:22:18,567
That's the one thing she does know.
418
00:22:27,133 --> 00:22:29,033
I am sorry.
419
00:22:29,033 --> 00:22:33,834
Well, you should be there, blue angel.
420
00:22:33,834 --> 00:22:37,868
Und I want to thank Edith.
Edith, thank you.
421
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,100
You're welcome.
422
00:22:42,100 --> 00:22:45,033
Liebchen...
423
00:22:45,033 --> 00:22:49,267
I am sorry I caused you all this trouble.
424
00:22:49,267 --> 00:22:51,167
No.
425
00:22:51,167 --> 00:22:55,100
It was I who caused all this trouble.
426
00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:57,601
- No, it was I. - No, it was I.
427
00:22:57,601 --> 00:22:58,834
Oh, no, it was I.
428
00:22:58,834 --> 00:23:00,400
- I, I, I. - I, I, I.
429
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,501
- I, I, I. - I, I, I.
430
00:23:02,501 --> 00:23:06,801
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hold there, will you?
431
00:23:06,801 --> 00:23:09,901
The "I's" have it already.
432
00:23:11,434 --> 00:23:13,667
Why don't yous both kiss and make up
433
00:23:13,667 --> 00:23:15,868
and fly to Milwaukee?
434
00:23:16,934 --> 00:23:22,200
Schatzi, schatzi...
435
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:23,968
[SPEAKING GERMAN ]
436
00:23:23,968 --> 00:23:26,033
ALBRECHT: Ich liebe dich.
437
00:23:26,033 --> 00:23:27,701
[JUDITH SPEAKS GERMAN]
438
00:23:27,701 --> 00:23:29,234
Ich liebe dich.
439
00:23:33,901 --> 00:23:35,834
[SINGS IN GERMAN]
440
00:23:38,234 --> 00:23:40,033
[SINGS ALONG]
441
00:23:40,033 --> 00:23:41,601
[SINGING CONTINUES]
442
00:23:41,601 --> 00:23:46,300
Oh, Archie, ain't that sweet?
443
00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:49,000
It's just like the Jerries, Edith.
444
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,000
They can't even wind up a love scene
445
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,701
without singing a battle hymn.
446
00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:58,234
Oh, God.
447
00:23:58,234 --> 00:24:00,167
[SINGING IN GERMAN]
448
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,100
[
]
449
00:24:40,968 --> 00:24:43,767
All In The Family was
played to a studio audience
450
00:24:43,767 --> 00:24:45,467
for live responses.
451
00:24:45,517 --> 00:24:50,067
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0